It's here. 4.5 years of the 'underground-in-the-know' trenches for me. It happened this past Monday. The grossly anticipated bastardization of kettlebells that has already spawned (at least in my world) the much dreaded red-headed-stepchild phenomenon. What am I talking about? Kettlenetics and Kbells with some supposed expert who doesn't have the first clue about kettlebells and real kettlebell training actually makes you sweat. I have had 6 people ask me about Kettlenetics and Kbells in the last 72 hours. Apparently the infomercial started airing this past weekend on local cable. So it's time to PAY ATTENTION!
A 5-pound weight moved through motions duplicating a bad Richard-Simmons aerobics class. I thought I'd seen it all. But it was bound to happen. As with all great things there has to be some moron who goes and creates this 'FLUFFY' version of a hard-core workout so everyone can feel all warm and fuzzy inside about their 'fitness' program which is really a figment of their imagination.
When I put a clock to what the general public calls working out, they would die in exactly 10 minutes...or 5. Absolutely pathetic. And Kettlenetics are contributing to reducing the fat population? NNNNNRRRRRTTTTT. Wrong answer.
What's next? A support group for people who can't shut their pie-hole, sitting around singing Kum-ba-ya 'attracting' their way to thinness? Nope. Nada. Don't think so.
When you're ready to get off your lazy ass, shut your pie hole and get in the best shape of your life, come to one of my classes. Looking the way you want takes W-O-R-K. Anyone who tells you any different is telling you a bold-faced lie so detrimental that I fear for your future fitness.
You come to my class, one of two things will happen:
1 You'll never come back because you're not disgusted enough with the way you look in the mirror to work hard on a regular basis...face it, you're lazy and you don't want it bad enough.
2 you'll be a RAVING FAN of this type of ass-kicking and add it to your regular masochistic routine.
Kinetic Edge Performance
Delivering Beatdowns Without Apology.
Woodbury, MN
Back to leaving rants without apology.
Out.
Brad
P.S. My mistake, it's a 4 pound weight. Are you kiddin' me?
9 comments:
This is what infants of REAL kettlebell lifters workout with; you know 1-5 yrs old! ;)
These women should be ashamed of themselves......but I know they aren't!
thats cute!! like a little baby kettlebell!!
Words cannot describe the pain I felt while watching this video.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=jcWHbqZYEOg
this woman must be stopped.
Can't wait to get my Kettlenetic Cert
Phooey, we are the messengers, the bell is the tool, Hard Style is the way. This is our story, ooh rah?
But its real,real cute and they would be "doing" kettlebells. They will be shocked and saddened when they don't get the results those using "Hard Style" will get. There should be a lot of cheap, barely used kettlebells on ebay and craig's list in the near future.
I hate watering down the wine.
Wish I was in MN so I could check out your class. I love pain.
David
Great post, I went through the BC concept cert she is/was a part of. Holy F'N shit...soooo bad. I love your site( killer music).
JWood
The gym I frequent is very good at providing excellent tools for fitness, but it also caters to a lot of silly trends. Consequently, we have a couple of those alongside of the real kettlebells. We call them Christmastree Ornaments.
Great post - I'm linking it to my blog. HardStyle rules!
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